I TRIED TO GET COVID

I tried to get COVID.

I knew it would find me if I just exposed my weaknesses. Is it under that rock? Is COVID hiding in that chemical solution of soap at the dental office? There it is, behind that fence, lurking, watching, plotting.

I went to a Trump rally. No such luck getting COVID or COVID signs and symptoms. I went to a BLM/antifa riot. No luck. Still healthy.

 I visited two friends who work in hospitals. They both told me anything that resembles COVID or flu symptoms is reported as COVID, and I did not get COVID, or the flu. DANG!

I decided to trick the virus. It seems to hunt the weak-minded so I pretended to eat garbage “food”, fooling myself and the virus, that I was not health conscious and as a result, not healthy.

I ate a bag of chips, a candy bar, pretend granola with soy oil and other chemicals. I over-indulged with a very large white flour pork and bean burrito. I drank a soda.

Throughout the day I did not drink my regular gallon of distilled water. I did not have my regular 5 or more servings of vegetables.

That same evening I sat on my butt: no exercise, not even mild, and watched television. To further the dehydration I drank half a bottle of wine.

Next morning I woke up with a slight headache, lungs were aching and magically, I had COVID. It must have been in the wine, the pork, or maybe  transmitted through the television, like so much fear that inundates our lives by democrats and progressives. 

I thought of going to a doctor to confirm my cause-and-effect challenged deductions, but since I had a dental appointment, I figured I would get my temperature and blood pressure tested at the dental office.

My temperature, with a slight COVID death sentence, was 98.4. Holy viral crap batman, I am .2 degrees below normal human body temperature. That COVID is a killer.

I am over 50 so I need to make sure I wear a mask next time I do my competitive swimming workout, and next time I play hockey because, as we all know, COVID thinks, sees and knows all, like cancer, involved in a fight to kill, you. Do viruses, like COVID and “flu”, and cancer wear protective equipment in these fights?

COVID was lurking, because Fauci, Birx, Dunn and departments of “health”, separate and independent of governors, magically knew each others’ goals and directives, were pushing to trick COVID and save us all.

COVID did it, knowing, and bombarding us. COVID-aligned media, to convince us to surrender to the reality that COVID is in a hunt for, not just our lives, but our souls, again, magically promoted by the same agendas, all in the fist-fight for our very souls

COVID with governor dictates where authority is not theirs is the sinister, diabolical agent of misinformation and, hence, physical realities of clandestine dangers.

Because the politically motivated governors association, ignoring real science (you know, scientific methodology) said so, COVID was the socialist/marxist entity that brought America to its economic knees.

I knew where and how I contracted it. I was down town, walking along 100 south, headed west. I know it was lurking around the corner, just waiting for me. It knew I had evaded the hunt and resisted the propaganda, fear-mongering, and anti-science manipulation, so it had to get me. It realized I must be made the example. That COVID just knew where to go. It must have been following me, and watching my moves because it caught me unawares. It might have also been more involved, chasing me into an ambush. Wow, this virus, with no brain, non-living, sure is smart, because it listened to Fauci, Birx and the political anti-science bolshevik National Governors Asociation..

If COVID attacks working Kulaks (small business owners); if it wreaks havoc on an economic system by locking down living; if it lies and coagulates into an unelected governing dictatorship (NGA), it is a bolshevik construct, but that is the genius of COVID. It has everyone fooled to think it is not a “flu” virus and deadly as the “flu”.

I wondered how a national body of anti-science “doctors”, Fauci and Birx, and their media, made the connections of a pretense of scientific methodology and governors stealing and thrashing OUR lives, to COVID thought and computation. Back to my story.

The next day, after my dental appointment, I went to work. I usually drink at least a gallon of water throughout the day. This day I enjoyed my usual cup of coffee and then, typically, worked in the heat. I had a swim workout later in the day and hesitated because it might help cleanse my soul of COVID thought control. I am a flyer, butterfly is my event. I eased up on butterfly and my workout.

That evening, without herbs or drugs, or chemicals, or viruses in other meds, I felt fine. COVID and I had come to an understanding.

During my self-induced COVID contraction, my lungs ached for about half a day. I thought about what others verbally regurgitated and decided my lungs ached the same as well: like I was breathing glass.

I exaggerate, though. My lungs felt no worse than years ago when I regularly suffered from “flu” symptoms.

The exercise of 8/26/20, reminded me of a similar event of 2008, when I conducted an experiment. I overindulged in the Christmas season; for just one day. Same results, same cure, and I learned. Have you ever learned by scientific methodology? Do you, dear reader, fellow American, distracted by celebrity politics, even know scientific methodology?

Luckily, for me, and those who listened and investigated for themselves, over a decade ago, I made the connection of “flu” signs and symptoms to the over-indulgence season: Thanks-giving to New Years day. That year, after feeling “sick”, I ceased my sub-nutritional, empty caloric intake.

If you had learned cause and effect, no longer taught in science classes; if you had learned stimulus and response, again washed from our minds by blithering emotional dem/lib/progressive black mail; if you had learned to actually learn, rising above silly, manipulative, regurgitation of dem/lib/bolshevik fear-mongering, you might be able to see the absolute corruption of Fauci, Birx, the American governors and other celebrity politicians, all lying and fabricating to exploit YOU.

Well, I am over my COVID episode. I tricked COVID and it ran away, like all dem/lib/progressive ailments and mental aberrations. I am amazed that COVID was tricked into ceasing its attack on my life and soul. I am stupefied that COVID is so politically oriented to dem/lib/progressives, but that bit of knowledge is what saved me. All I needed to do was pretend to join the marxist/democrat movement, and COVID relented. Funny how that COVID, what a funny guy, knew, or so easily accepted, that I was actually a democrat in disguise.