Hi neighbors, utardia, agent provocateur reporting in for the week.

Damn! I am sorry for missing my goals and quotas last week.

I did not get my quotas so I don’t get my bonuses for exposing conservatives, republicans and tea party representatives. Yeah, I know, those representatives that have tried to re-institute real representation; those rascally republican tea-baggers are still around doing, of all crazy things, representative government.

It just makes me sick that I did not get my $6 bonus for thinking big for the week.

It just makes me sick that I did not get my good neighbor award for attacking republicans, conservatives, and the self-governing representative system of those boneheaded Constitutional Republicans.

Crap, I did not get my honesty and truth bonus of $500 for telling enough lies.

I am beside myself that I didn’t get my love of humanity bonus for slaughtering un-born babies this week.

I am also quite mad that I did not get my dystopian imagination award and bonus for fabricating 10 new lies and stories about conservatives and tea party representation. Crap, I could use that extra roll of toilet paper for all the crap I swim in.

Does anyone have a snorkel I can borrow?

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